A frugal life is an easy life!

In recent weeks, I've had first hand experience of how important the role of family finances plays in maintaining a stable home life.
For me, my family is essential to my well being. I love my family, always have and always will, but when factors are out of my hands, I am left to deal with the consequences, which is a personal nightmare.
Of course I accept, there are other factors involved, other people's decisions and actions, but after recent times here, "Money" has been the single most common factor in what's gone on.

MONEY LIMITS:
This website is not a sideline business as others of a frugal/thrifty ilk often are.
I don't sit here in a quarter of a million plus pound house, looking after my children, while my better half earns enough money to support us all three times over.
This website is a personal reference for me.
All the things I talk about are real life, they are essential to financial survival for my family or that of our friends.
When the family finances take various hits, as they have done in the past 3-4 years, pressure builds on the family unit.

For example, in 2012 we had £2700 LESS money to play with (Tax credit cuts - 1% wage rise - rising prices of over 3% on everything from food/petrol to insurances, etc.)
These financial constraints took away our holiday plans, for the sixth year running, when the old second hand banger (essential for shift work on a non bus route) needed work, cuts had to be made to balance our books.
Imagine working all year round, booking your time off, then having to watch as one by one your workmates jet off to sunny climbs and you have to cancel your plans and sit at home for 2 weeks. Totally demoralising.

Of course you could change your plans, holiday in the UK at one of the wonderful rip off britain priced caravans or holiday homes.
Take days out? For us to go to the seaside for the day costs £8 in parking and £30 in petrol alone. For the zoo, again the petrol is a factor, plus £30 for us to get in. It may not sound much to most people, but for a household that's on a strict budget to balance the books, it is the difference between fixing the brakes on the car so it can be used for work and taking a day off away from it all.

There are other factors to financial limitations. We struggle to do anything around the house, like plastering. To get someone in to do it costs in the region of £100 per day, plus materials. When you are juggling money around to scrimp together a spare £150 a month, this is unworkable without borrowing.
In 2012 I was able to have 2 nights out. For my hard working wife, this was limited to just one Christmas meal with her friends.
This has had a devastating personal effect on our family.
It also affects buying new clothes, birthdays, Christmas, special occasions, etc.

OPPORTUNISTS:
In all walks of life, there are those that consider others and those that do not.
While businesses play the game to extract maximum money from your pocket, with extras, add ons, hidden charges, etc, as well as yoyo pricing to increase their profits, there is also a personal side to the opportunist.
Years of scraping to get by and balancing the family books, can have a devastating effect on personal lives.

There are those out there that show scant regard for others, by taking advantage.

The workplace banter and little in jokes, the casual flirting, etc, at the pub or a work's night out. Their target, because that what they are, a target, can easily have their head turned away from the stresses and strains of daily life.
What starts out as a bit of fun, a distraction, can quickly lead to a total break up for a family.
There will be those that say it's down to the individual, personal choices, but as we all know, when a person has their head turned in jest, they can easily lose sight of what their other half is doing in day to day life and the situation that financial constraints have put on the family.
For me this is not true. Yes it's personal choice, but there is equal blame also.
Head turning would not happen had the opportunist not taken advantage of the situation for their own ends.

Opportunists are cowards, they take no responsibility for their actions.
They have no regard for the family unit, regardless of whether it's opportunism on a personal or financial level. Had the family unit had sufficient finances available to them, there would have been holidays, nights out, work around the house, relief from the day to day strains of work and balancing the family books.

LESSONS LEARNED:
Some family breakdown may well be personal, but on the whole, there are underlying factors, a major one is the finances of the family unit.
For me, the easiest thing would be to start borrowing, take out a couple of credit cards and "flash the cash" with a holiday, nights out, etc. This would make me more popular I dare say, but once the brass had gone, yet more strain would be put on the family finances in future months and this would create more problems than we have now.
It would leave more openings for the sympathetic ear that is the opportunist, who is only too quick to take advantage.

I don't know of anyone who doesn't like the distractions and excitement away from the day to day toil of the UK adult, but extra borrowing would come with longer term costs.
We can all be interesting and fun when we don't have to say no because our hands are tied financially. For me, the biggest lesson I've learned is, it is important to remember people have needs.
The relief and satisfaction of balancing the family books for another month gives me great pleasure, but to others, this is boring/dull. If we couldn't balance the books every month, more borrowing would lead to a deeper financial hole (and more personal problems) down the line, so it's vital to a healthy family life.

This monthly battle is getting harder each time, with 0% pay rises, over inflation price rises in food, petrol, household bills, etc.
Government is taking help away, wages are failing to keep pace, times are hard.
Remember to keep your eye on the ball, as regards a personal level.
Make the effort, no matter how small or mundain it may seem to you, it maybe of vital importance to those around you. If you choke off the oxygen for the disaffected party to confide in an opportunist, this is half the battle won.